


My Brother is an Idiot

by magequisition



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: AU, All Human, F/M, IKEA, but it works out, fili is being a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:11:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magequisition/pseuds/magequisition
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili gets more than he bargained for when Fili won't stop hiding in Ikea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Brother is an Idiot

“Fili, you asshole, get back here!” Kili groaned as he searched through the multiple bedroom setups for his brother. He could hear his brother’s cackle as he dashed from room to room. “You’re such a pain in the ass, this was a terrible idea, I’m leaving.” He turned to leave the bedroom area and find his way back to the path through the store _(who designed these stores anyway, they’re impossible!)_ and found himself in yet another bedroom. He groaned. He turned to head through another doorway and found himself in a head-on collision with a green wall.

                He looked up and found himself face to face with possibly the tallest and certainly the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. “Not a wall, then…” he mumbled.

                “Excuse me?” the woman asked.

                Kili blushed, shoving his dark hair back from his face. “Ah, nothing. Um, sorry. Just, uh, looking for my idiot brother. Thinks it’s funny to dash around and hide.”

                “Blonde fellow?” she asked, one eyebrow raised. Kili nodded. “I saw him. He’s in that room,” she said, gesturing behind her. “Hiding in the bed.”

                A wide grin crossed Kili’s face. “You don’t say…” he mumbled. “Excuse me.” He ducked around the woman and jumped onto the bed, crushing his brother with his weight. Fili tossed underneath him, trying to dislodge his brother but succeeding only in disentangling one hand from the blankets – which promptly formed a fist and collided with Kili’s nose. Kili backed off instantly, one hand coming to his face to make sure his nose wasn’t bleeding.

                “You absolute – “ he started, stopping when he realised someone was standing next to him. Turning quickly and expecting to find an employee that he would have to explain himself to, he found the woman he’d collided with before, biting her lip to try and keep herself from smiling.

                “Are you alright?” she asked.

                Kili dropped the hand gingerly touching his nose. “Fantastic. Got the jump on him, thanks to you,” he said, standing straighter and grinning broadly.

                “And yet it seems he’s had the upper hand on you.”

                Pointing at his nose, Kili scoffed. “This? Nah. This is nothing. You should, uh, see the other guy.”

                “I’m sure he’s much worse,” the woman said, no longer trying to hide her smirk.

                “Absolutely,” Kili agreed. His smile widened when a thought occurred to him, and he dug around in his pockets for a scrap of paper and a pen. Scribbling something down quickly, he pressed it into the woman’s palm. “But just in case, you should text me later and make sure I’m okay.”

                “Ah, but you’re just fine, aren’t you?”

                “Well, I am _now,_ but you know, they say effects from an accident can kick in hours or even days later.”

                She smiled again – _she needed to stop doing that if she wasn’t going to see him again –_ and turned to leave the bedroom display. When she had turned out of sight, Kili dragged Fili out of the bed. “We are out of here.”

                Several hours later, his phone buzzed on the table. He picked it up and tapped in the unlock code.

                _-How are you feeling, little warrior? ;)_

_-Tauriel_

Kili stared at the phone in disbelief before tapping out a reply.


End file.
